Changes

Our Circus is embarking on lots of new life adventures. While some of it may be challenging and maybe a bit scary, I can’t help but be a little hopeful that everything will work out and our lives will be that much more full of blessings. As long as we stick together and love and support one another, we can weather any storm and come out stronger in the end.

I am so proud of my kids. They are handling these changes so well. They seem to be more supportive of one another and even more protective of each other. We are communicating much more and even #1 and #2 are getting along for the first time in over a year.

I hope these new changes bring our family closer together in the end. As time passes, things may be difficult, but I have faith. Faith in that all things happen for a reason and life is fixing to be that much sweeter.

Life

Don’t you just love it when you make plans, and are going about life the best you can, and then, BAM!? Life decides it wants to to throw a curve ball at you. Decides on it’s own, without our okay to do so, that it wants us to go a different direction? Yeah, I’m not a big fan.

Life is hard.

That’s all for today. Thanks for stopping by.

Parenting

Being a parent is hard. You are handed this tiny, screaming, squirming bundle in the hospital and told, “Congratulations! Here ya go! Love this being, feed this being, and keep this being alive. And don’t screw it up!” Being a parent is an enormous responsibility. Yeah, there are all sorts of parenting books and experts out there, but until you actually ARE a parent, you have no IDEA!

Being a parent is like living with your heart outside of your body. I read that somewhere once. No truer words have ever been written. I had never known that it was possible to love another person that much until I held my first baby in my arms the first time. I knew, in that moment, that I would love him for all eternity. I knew that I would give my life to protect that beautiful, innocent baby from any and all harm. I felt that same feeling each time one of our boys was born.

As our children grow, we teach them and try to guide them in the right direction. The older they get, the more they become an independent individual. They pull away from us and learn to make their own decisions. It starts at a very young age. The first time they hold their bottle/sippy cup by themselves, the first time they put their pants on without help, first time they learn to go potty in the toilet, their first day of school, first sleep over, first dance, staying home by themselves. You get the idea. It’s hard, as parents, to let go and step back. It’s scary to watch them become independent. You know that with independence comes many risks. Some of those risks have great rewards. On the other hand, some of those risks end with unfavorable outcomes. It’s all par for the course, I guess.

There is no greater reward than watching your child become the person they were meant to be. There is also a great amount of fear that comes along with it. Watching them fail, and watching them succeed. We do the best we can, and love them all the same.

Being a parent is the hardest thing I have ever done, but I would’t trade it for anything in the world.

Living as a Highly Sensitive Introvert

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by people? To have too much stimuli from being around others, so much so that it feels like you are vibrating from the inside out from all the energy you have absorbed throughout the day? It affects your mood, your emotions, your thoughts. And then being made to feel less than for being overly emotional or super sensitive to people’s actions or opinions. Has it ever been so bad that you feel like you have the flu and you have to rest and recharge for days? Being awkward in public, stumbling over words, not being able to make small talk, and then replaying every way you could have reacted differently in those situations? How about people thinking you are dumb, just because of the extreme awkwardness? Not fitting in with anyone? Not wanting to fit in with anyone. Your internal monologue fighting against what you want and sometimes need to do. Fighting anxiety and depression. Being told to suck it up and don’t let things bother you. Told if you just quit being so sensitive that you could be so much happier. Being born feeling this way. It being who you are at the very center of your being. That’s just a little of what it’s like living as a highly sensitive Introvert.

Snow Day!

A lazy day, I believe, is in order. It’s a snow day for everyone in this circus! The boys are excited and enjoying a lazy morning. The hubbs and I have been up all morning watching the news and laughing at the goofballs sliding around on the roadways. The dogs have been running, jumping, and biting at the snow. Sledding, snowballs, snowmen, wet clothes, cold noses, and laughter are what the snow brings today.

The Boys and Chores

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I believe children should have their own chores that they are responsible for. It builds character, teaches responsibility, and it is part of being a family. The boys have shared and individual chores. The older two feed and water cows during the week, make sure their rooms are picked up, do their own laundry, and clean up after supper each night. The younger two take turns taking out the trash, feed and water the dogs, clean their room, and help out with their laundry. I do not think this is too much to ask of kids, especially kids their ages. There are times, on the weekend, that I may ask all of them to help me out with some of the deep cleaning tasks that I normally do. More often than not, I don’t bother though. I’m a bit of a perfectionist and prefer to just do it myself. In the summer time they are expected to help with yard work, they are strong, strapping young men after all.

Even though I think this isn’t too much to ask of the boys, if you were to ask them how they felt, they would tell you that they do everything in the house, and their dad and I don’t do anything at all. Never mind that we both work full time, ten hours a day jobs. Never mind that I come home every night and cook a home-cooked meal for my family of six. Never mind that my every weekend is spent vacuuming, dusting, sweeping, mopping and scrubbing gross bathrooms used primarily by males. Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely appreciate any and all help that I can get, but just a little credit would be nice.

Every once in a while though, magic happens. I will come home from running to town to get groceries, and someone has vacuumed, or the floor has been mopped. All without having to say anything to anyone. They really have no idea what those moments mean to a mom. One less thing to have to worry about.

So yes, I believe in chores for kids. My boys are extremely hard working, they volunteer quite often to help out when in the community, most of the time they show respect for others, and they will have useful skills when they are out on their own in this big world. What are your thoughts on children and chores?

Stressed

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Have you ever been in a situation that causes extreme anxiety and stress? Just the thought of it causes stomach cramps, sweaty palms, and increased heart rate. Some situations are so bad, they cause high blood pressure and even panic attacks. How do you remove yourself from that kind of situation? What if it’s a job, a presentation for work, or just something that is not easy to get out of? I’m in one of those scenarios. Its causing an ulcer, hair loss, cold sores, a rise in my already too high blood pressure, and it’s even caused a nocturnal panic attack. At times, it seems so unbearable. Maybe I’m just not good at handling stress? I’m not sure, but I’m doing everything I can think of to remove myself. I’m sure a lot of people deal with this kind of stress on a daily basis, but for me, something’s got to give.

The Flu has struck the circus

This afternoon, when #4 walked in the door, he was coughing, and snorting, and moaning and groaning. I new what that meant. The same situation we have at my work with half the office out. The flu has arrived in our house. I got him in bed, checked his temp, gave him some meds, and fixed him some hot tea. He looks at me, with his big, dark glassy eyes, “Mom? Am I dying”? “What? No!” I say. “Why would you even ask that? It’s just the flu, bud. Its gotta run its course. You will be fine “. #4 is prone to dramatics a bit. He will be fine. This just means that we will have a another sick kiddo in a few days when it jumps to the next in line. By the way, we did get our flu shots. It doesn’t always work. So coughs, sneezes, sniffles, and fevers, hot tea, lysol, and sleepless nights are our future for just a while.