I went to bed early last night, right before 7. I wasn’t feeling great, so I decided I just needed some sleep. Well, that early bedtime meant I woke up at 1:30 this morning.
As I was sitting here drinking my coffee, I started mentally beating myself up with all of my shortcomings. I have a short fuse lately, I don’t keep up with house work as much as I should, I’m still fighting an overweight battle, I complain a lot sometimes, and I allow my anxiety to hold me back more often than it should.
Then, I started thinking, “Why am I so hard on myself? I have been through so much in my lifetime.” Everyone goes through hard times. We really should give ourselves a bit of a pass. I decided to make a list of just the things that have happened since our youngest was born.
After making the list, I realized just how much has happened in the past 11 years. It’s been rough at times. And no wonder I have severe anxiety. And then I thought, maybe I should share. Everyone has rough times, and we are all harder on ourselves than anyone else.
So here is my list. Don’t judge; we all fight through our own battles and not one of us is better than the other.
Grandpa dies month before #4 is born 2009
Ankle surgery 2011
Husband has appendicitis 2010
#4 has severe sleep apnea, has adenoids removed 2010
#3 gets Kawasaki Disease 2010
Mother-in-law diagnosed with breast cancer 2009
We move to horrible town 2012
We move to best town(most of the time) 2013
#3 comes down with blood disorder 2013
Husband leaves job of 11 years for new job 2013
I am sick for over a year 2012-2014
Husband loses 2 grandparents and father all within months 2014
I am diagnosed with cancer, have it removed 2014
Husband gets another new job in new career field 2015
Husband loses other grandparent to same type of cancer I had 2015
I quit smoking 2015
New jobs come and go
#2 gets parasite and is in hospital for a while 2016
#4 has tonsils removed 2016
My dad’s health gets worse 2017 to 2020
My cousin dies 2018
#4 has appendicitis then gets abcess 2019
World pandemic 2020
2 family pets die 2020
Teen son tells me his girlfriend is pregnant 2020
Still world pandemic is going on 2020
The actual years listed may not be exact, but it all has happened in the past 11 years. This list doesn’t include what happened before 2009. That list isn’t much better. There were also other things that happened but either not as major or I just can’t remember what year. So if I have some anxiety and stress issues; I’ve decided to give myself a little bit of a break. Can you blame me?
Remember to give yourself grace. Life is hard. Even with all the bad, there are beautiful experiences mixed in between. For 2020, my biggest beautiful experience is being able to have a granddaughter and to watch #1 be an amazing parent.
Maybe think about what you have been through. What do you need to give yourself a break on? What are your beautiful experiences?
That’s all for today. Thanks for stopping by!