Our new family member

Welcome the newest member to this Circus’ menagerie! She is nameless at the moment, but #2 is extremely happy to have her join us. We have been researching and preparing for her for several months now.

Writing

I seem to have a bit of writers block happening. From watching the Twitter feed, it seems to be contagious. I expected a little bit of it to occur since it is Spring Break, but with the weeks adding up that the boys will be home due to CV, I’m hoping inspiration will strike and it won’t last long. It is a lot harder to come up with activities for older kids. Especially when trying to make them understand social distancing.

So right now, I have bored kids who keep pestering me, and no quiet time to write. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Spring Break

Today marks the beginning of spring break here at the circus. We had plans for #2 to take his drivers test, take a trip to the zoo with the fam, and maybe go see a movie. Some of those plans may have to be canceled or postponed. The weather people are calling for rain for almost the entire week and of course covid-19 brings on worries of being around other people.

Speaking of Covid-19, what is with the shortage of toilet paper and cleaning supplies. The hubbs and I went to the store this morning to pick up a few things, and the store had zero packages of toilet paper, and the cleaning supplies were almost all gone. We saw a lady who had a shopping cart full of generic all purpose cleaner with bleach, and what looked like the last of the John Wayne toilet paper. It kind of set me off. We have 6 people in our household. Three of which are teenage boys and 1 preteen. We go through a lot of toilet paper, and for there not to be any to buy, is just absolutely ridiculous. Hopefully we have enough TP on hand to get us through this shortage. Hubbs said there is always corncobs.

To add to this absurd consumer purchasing, the stores are also out of Vitamin C vitamins. I was going to buy some just to give us an extra boost (I have some pre-existing health conditions), but that idea was kiboshed fairly quickly.

So, this spring break may be quite dull for the monkeys. It is extremely hard to entertain older kids when they are used to always doing something. Pray that a wrestling match or a fist fight doesn’t break out in the coming days under this bored big top.

Teens

Raising teenagers is hard. Hardest thing I have ever done. They seem to bring out the worst of a person. They yell at you, you yell back. They curse at you, and you uncontrollably curse back. What is it about teens that bring out the hidden teen inside of each parent? I know that I would have been knocked sideways if I spoke to my parents the way my teens spoke to me. Is it that it’s not as acceptable to reprimand our children that way? Is it the amount of teenagers I have at one time? I know that I am not handling it as gracefully as my parents did. Maybe it’s a different type of teens we are raising. Maybe we are all making excuses. I’m not sure of what it is, but I’m exhausted. When do they outgrow this rebellious stage?

Circus on the Homefront

Things have been fairly quiet here at the circus. Baseball season has started and all the boys are starting out strong. Our cows should start having their babies in the next couple of weeks. That is always an exciting time. #2 and #4 have started a new adventure. They decided to follow in their dad’s footsteps and try their luck in steer riding/bull riding. We shall see how that goes. And I am down to just the one job, working from home. I’m excited for it. It is hard for me to work outside the home and do everything that a mom of four boys needs to do. My anxiety definitely gives me trouble with that, and the boys seem to do better when I am more available for them. This new job still allows me to help with bringing income in, and doing all the mom stuff that needs to be done. Win/win on all sides.

That’s all I’ve got for this week. Thanks for stopping by!

Six Years

Six years ago today, I received some upsetting news about my health. I had been sick with repeated kidney infections for about a year and the doctors had no idea what was causing them. I was in and out of the hospital, exhausted, and just down right tired of being ill. Finally, a doctor in the ER did a CT scan of my kidneys and told me it looked like I had a cyst on my left kidney. They sent me with a referral to a women’s Urologist and another CT scan with dye was done. A few days later, the nurse called me and said, “We need you to come in first thing tomorrow morning to go over your results.” I knew something wasn’t right. They don’t tell you to come in over good news. The next morning, on February 28th, 2014, the doctor told me that there was a 90% chance that I had kidney cancer. She told me they were sending me to a Urology surgeon to get more information. I left right after. I had gone by myself. I was kind of numb at first, but as I was driving down the highway, I started shaking so bad I had to pull over to the shoulder. I sat there in my car, all alone as cars sped by, and bawled my eyes out. I was terrified. I had 4 little boys, all in elementary school, and up to that point I had only met 1 person who had survived a cancer diagnosis. Everyone else I knew who had had cancer had died from it. I called the hubbs and let him know and then headed to my parents house to talk to them.

I ended up having a partial nephrectomy on my left kidney on May 6, 2014. The doctors were able to remove all of the cancer. I am 6 years in of NEDS(no evidence of disease).

That diagnosis changed how I view the world and everything that goes on in it. Some of it good. Some of it bad. In some ways I am a much stronger person. I no longer fear dying the way I used to. I learned to be at peace with it. I learned that it is inevitable for everyone. I have learned that there is always something worse and I try my best to appreciate what I have. I don’t always succeed in that. We all complain about piddly things, and I do that often at times. On the other hand, the diagnosis made me a bit weaker in some areas of my life. I have always been a sensitive person, but I seem to be even more so now. I don’t handle stress well at all, and for some reason my anxiety has increased with a lot of things.

That day definitely changed me. It has shaped me into a new person that sees the entire world in a new light. But, I count my blessings that I am cancer free and able to see my babies grow up. A lot of cancer patients don’t get that luxury. I am one of the lucky ones.

Quiet Days

It’s been a quiet day in the house. #1 and his girlfriend, #3, and I have been hanging out with the dogs on this rainy day. We’ve watched movies, played video games, and baked a bunch of cookies. The Hubbs, #2, and #4 went on a road trip for some guy time adventures. A quiet day was exactly what this momma needed, and I get another tomorrow as I get an extra day off from my day job. I will be starting a second job working from home on the evenings and weekends. It will only be about 20 hours a week, but will definitely bring in some extra income. After all, teenage boys eat a LOT of food.

Life in this circus seems to be calming down for the moment, but baseball season starts soon. Lots of busy times ahead. It is never calm for long here.